Celebrating Women and Womanhood – Let’s Talk Community

I like to mind people business. We all secretly (or not so secretly) do. I like understanding why people do things and how minds work. So, it means I ask a lot of questions, regularly engaging in stimulating conversations with my peers and often sharing, sometimes too much, of my own life with others.

Recently there was some extra spicy discourse about the paths that women choose to follow “nowadays”. My social media feeds were flooded with people talking about the pros and cons of motherhood and marriage. I’ll spare you another think piece! I’m here to talk to the people that already believe women have the freedom to live whichever way they choose.

I thought of the women that would feel the pressure from these conversations. The women that would listen to what everyone else thought they should do with their lives and question the choices they make for eternity because they don’t know what’s the right choice. I want us to be their village. To ask them how they feel about their lives and tell them how we feel about ours.

Having a community is important to being human. Psychologists may even say that a sense of belonging is vital to our psychological wellbeing. We’re social creatures and we learn many of our most basic skills from each other. Community is even more important in marginalized groups. Many argue that women are much more empowered in modern times, so we aren’t marginalized. I’d argue that as long we must challenge systems for basic rights, we are. So! We need community more than ever.

I’ve personally learned so much about myself through the lives of others. As a woman in her 30s that has no desire to have children, people’s opinions come at me with unsolicited furiousness and at a point in time I interrogated my choices ceaselessly. Was I setting myself up to be severely disappointed with my life when I get older? What if I’m miserable!

But then, I had kids. Not of my own, but my friends had kids. My sister has kids. Are these not my kids? I don’t need to bear them. When I was single, my life was not void of love. I found romance in my cup of coffee on a quiet morning and companionship in my circle. How did I arrive at this level of comfort with my life? It’s because I collect perspectives. I listen to what people say, and I decide what I want to keep and what doesn’t feel good. I share with other women, so that they can decide what to keep or leave behind also.

Gone are the days of a one-size-fits-all definition of womanhood. Today, we celebrate the glorious mosaic that women represent – a vibrant tapestry woven from ambition, motherhood, adventure, creativity, and so much more. I believe in empowering women to embrace their individuality and choose the path that sparks their joy. We can only stand to benefit from investing our efforts into fostering a healthier environment for women to thrive in.

For some women, joy is found in building a thriving career, shattering glass ceilings, and redefining success on their own terms. Others find fulfillment in nurturing families, creating loving homes, and fostering deep connections. There are those who crave the adrenaline rush of adventure, traveling the world and pushing their boundaries. And let’s not forget the artistic souls who paint their joy onto canvases, write it into stories, or express it through music and dance.

The beauty lies not just in the diversity of choices, but in the unwavering support women offer each other along the way. We cheer on the CEO in the power suit, the stay-at-home mom mastering the art of juggling a million tasks, the solo traveler exploring uncharted territories, and the artist leaving their mark on the world. We celebrate each other’s victories, big and small, and offer a shoulder to cry on when life throws curveballs.

We listen, we support, we give advice if it’s asked for and we move on. And because of that, I live freely, knowing I’m supported and seen – and if I’m not sure of something, I can ask someone and decide if I want to follow that advice.

It can be disheartening to hear the loud judgment of others about the choices we make for our own wellbeing, so let’s make our support louder.

I invite you to celebrate your journey and the journeys of the incredible women around you. Share your story, uplift your peers, and embrace the freedom to live a life that brings you joy.

Let’s contribute to the evolution of womanhood, together.

For more of Shalini’s posts, visit:  https://medium.com/@shal.jabar